Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Oh, and also, we have decided that Paris Latsis is attractive.

"PARIS LATSIS!!!!" we hear you cry. "Why he's OVER! DEFUNCT! FORSAKEN! ABANDONED! That isn't even his last name! He probably isn't even rich!"

Yes. That is all true. But we need our B. to come back. Go easy on us. And anyway, I'm pretty sure it was he who did the leaving. I don't think they were even engaged. I don't even think they know each other. Just as I don't think Paris Hilton was friends with Nicole Richie before "The Simple Life." Paris has no history. Paris was not a child. Paris was created fully formed in a laboratory by a couple of nerdy yet horny scientists, a la Kelly LeBrock in weird science. You can tell because they fucked up her eyes. Nobody with organs has weird assymetrical glass eyes like that. Throw a baseball at her face and see what happens. I know this is old news, but distance gives us perspective.


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