Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Beyond depressed about Alito, global warming, my eroding reproductive rights, the sudden realization that SAM BROWNBACK is probably going to run for president.

Am seriously considering leaving for good in the next few years, but where to go? Canada is too close, Australia too inconvenient, England is too expensive.

Assuming language is a surmountable barrier, I'm thinking Spain or Scotland. Although when Europe plunges into an ice age, this won't be much help. South Africa is a logical choice. Maybe Australia doesn't seem so bad after all.

I hate feeling this way. I hate what is happening to my country. I hate feeling angry and helpless all the time.

Thursday, January 26, 2006


MY SESTINA IS IN MCSWEENEY'S!!!!! CHECK IT OUT!!!

www.mcsweeneys.net (go to the sestina page)

How terribly exciting! I am now part of the literati!

Thursday, January 19, 2006


And now, just days after the mysterious boob bruise, a MYSTERIOUS FOREARM BRUISE, roughly the size of one of those big grapes with the seeds inside that are always cheap and available at bodegas with cats that run around.

IT'S LEUKEMIA FOR SURE.

Will be drawing up a will this week, if I last that long. If anyone has any requests, please let me know. I've seen several of you eyeing my white chain-link handbag, while others might prefer my working model of the guillotine. Please, friends, don't be shy. I don't want to leave anyone out.

PS: If any of you are doctors that would like to tell me I am not dying of leukemia, this will also be welcome.
And now, just days after the mysterious boob bruise, a MYSTERIOUS FOREARM BRUISE, roughly the size of one of those big grapes with the seeds inside that are always cheap and available at bodegas with cats that run around.

IT'S LEUKEMIA FOR SURE.

Will be drawing up a will this week, if I last that long. If anyone has any requests, please let me know. I've seen several of you eyeing my white chain-link handbag, while others might prefer my working model of the guillotine. Please, friends, don't be shy. I don't want to leave anyone out.

PS: If any of you are doctors that would like to tell me I am not dying of leukemia, this will also be welcome.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

EXCITING NEWS ABOUT MY PLAY!!! KEEP READING

Oh, and for those of you that have not yet seen my engagement ring--it's real, and it's FABULOUS. (This has also been said of my left breast, although not my right, which is ungainly and misshapen.)


SEQUINS FOR SATAN is back and bigger than ever!
With more
> songs, more dances, more danger and more
woodland
> creatures!
>
> We've been named Miss February in
Galapagos's new
> EVOLVE series--it's a very cool thing. If you
missed it last
> time, now''s your chance and if you saw it last
time, come
> back. you won't be bored, i promise. and
besides, studies
> have shown my work has real effectiveness
towards treating
> and preventing most known cancers.
>
> remember: Rachel Shukert: You don't have to
have
> cancer, but it helps.
>
> Rachel Shukert:
> SEQUINS FOR SATAN
>
> Fridays February 4, 11, 18, 25 @ 8pm
> $10 in advance/ $12 at door
>
> Produced by fettY productions
> Directed by Stephen Brackett
> Featuring Reginald Veneziano, Paige Colette,
Michael Cyril
> Creighton, Jake Margolin, Rachel Shukert, Lacey
Langston,
> Justin Tranter and Ben Abramowitz
> Music by Gerri Beckenhauer & Rachel Shukert
> Costumes by This Old Thing?
>
> "Sequins for Satan" is playwright Rachel
Shukert's loose
> adaptation of the Dybbuk legend; a Jewish
folktale about a
> young girl who is possessed by the spirit of her
deceased
> lover. In Shukert's version we meet Frankie, a
young boy
> who is abandoned in the woods. Lost, Frankie
stumbles
> upon a persistent little squirrel who leads him to
his
> grandmother. Grandma and her new best friend,
the curious
> burn victim Junie Moon, set off with Frankie
deeper into the
> woods to find Jews powerful enough to exorcise
the boy.
> "Sequins for Satan" is their story.
>
> sequins for satan...live the magic....

Saturday, January 14, 2006

I'm BACK! Finally. From South Africa.

After a 36 hour journey, including an overnight stay in the lobby of London's Heathrow airport where a homeless man squeezed my leg and attempted to share my pillow/computer case, my mental agility has lost some of its frothy texture and tangy bite. So I won't write much now.

But keep posted.

In good news, my play, Sequins for Satan, shall be enjoying a triumphant return to the New York Stage as part of the new theater series at Galapagos! We open February 3rd, with the original cast and then some. Plus new songs and dances. Rejoice, for He has come!

I expect to see you all there. Even if you saw it already. Because remember this about my plays--medical studies have shown them to drastically retard the spread and metastization of various forms of cancer.

The collected works of Rachel Shukert: you don't have to have cancer, but it helps.

I have a strange bruise on my breast I am convinced is a sign of leukemia. I don't remember where it came from. It might have been from flailing wildly against the toilet bowl as I vomited pieces of herring last Friday, but I couldn't say.