Thursday, December 01, 2005

It's been a long time since I blogged. I'm sorry. I'm lazy, and it seems somehow that the more you actually have to do, the less inclination you have to write about it. It's like when you cook all day and then mysteriously lose your appetite.

That's a favorite anorexic hobby, by the way, cooking up a storm to fatten others, then as they chow down on the deliciousness, looking faraway and virtuous, like a Pilgrim woman on the deck of the Mayflower, surveying the sea with the faith of a thousand martyrs.

I once wanted to write a book that I was going to call---wait, I still want to write it. I'll tell you about it once it's been COPYRIGHTED. THIEVES. EVERYWHERE. THIEVES, RUFFIANS AND CRIMINALS.

My darling husband-to-be just flicked water on my neck. It felt oddly urine. I reallly hope it was water, or I may have gotten myself into more than I bargained for.

Here are some things I learned from the movie RENT, which I saw with my good friend Mr. Creighton a week or two ago.

1. Trannies are kind to homeless people.
2. Trannies are kind in general.
3. Jewish boys with nice families in Scarsdale who care about them desperately want to live in poverty with no heat, even though their parents would totally help them out.
4. Just because your girlfriend killed herself and you have AIDS and so do all your friends, doesn't mean you have anything to write a song about. The Muse is a fickle mistress.
5. When you're trying to stay off smack, the best way is to sleep with the junkie stripper that broke into your house.
6. There were tons of black, female, out lesbians lawyers working in high powered corporate law firms in the 1980's. Tons. Nothing to comment on.
7. If you are remotely creative, it is completely out of the question to pay rent for your apartment.
8. Or any bills of any other kind.
9. Or to attempt to make even the slightest amount of money, even if someone offers it to your for WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO!
10. "Will I lose my dignity, will someone care?" is musical theater code for "Will I lose control of my bowel movements? Will someone wipe?"

The problem is that all of the above statements are FALSE. Except the last one.


Blogger MCC said...

fantastic post.
you are lovely.
miss ya.

1:10 PM  

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