Friday, December 02, 2005

It came to me last night in a dream, but since I've been alerted to the fairy tale transcendence of "Trading Spouses" by my colleague Mr. Creighton, I've had it on my mind.

What we really need is "Trading Spouses: Africa" in which a horrible American woman who votes Republican, is a rabid bigot, etc, etc, (actually someone like Lynne Cheney, okay so let's just say Lynne Cheney) trades places with an African woman with several children in an impoverished village in Zambia/Uganda/Congo/Malawi/Liberia etc. There she can be infected with HIV by her migrant worker husband, haul sticks, and watch her children die of malaria while receiving intermittant radio broadcasts about tax cuts for the wealthy and the importance of abstienence only education in the War on AIDS.

Lynne Cheney is good, but maybe the indomitable Marguerite Perrin is better. It's certainly an effective, non-invasive weight loss method. Why spend all that money for a gastric bypass when you can raise your Q factor and lose the body mass of four teenagers at the same time?

In my dream, alas, it was I who had traded spouses. My favorite part was when I went by donkey to a neighboring town to hock my engagement ring for the equivalent of thirty american dollars, that we might purchase antibiotics and dressing to threat the flesh-eating bacteria that had infested the tiny, malnourished body of my young son.

And after a dream like that, it takes a very special person to figure a new slant for a popular reality series. Simon Fuller, watch your back!!!!


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