Monday, September 05, 2005

My cat hates it when you scratch her belly.

Well, that makes two of us.

Today, I discovered that I can take my bra off using only two fingers. I am so excited to be a stripper! I'm living my "Gypsy" fantasy, except my personal "Gypsy" fantasy is singing Rose's Turn at the last Presidential Inagural Ball, only to slowly peel off my clothes and guess what! I have a penis!

And then Donald Rumsfeld stands up and says..."I'd know that foreskin anywhere. Gary? Is that you?"

I can't say anything else about the disaster that hasn't been said already. My main hope is that the press will start doing their job again and hang these fucking rimjobs out to dry. (ha ha...DRY!) There's no excuse for this kind of blatant incompetence/indifference/evil in any country, anywhere. Here's my plan--anybody that voted for Bush has to pay a special tax that will go to hurricane relief, administered by the UN and led by Canadian task forces. That's my plan, and I'm sticking by it. Voters that knew Bush fully knew that Bush was a talking flake of diarrhea and voted for him anyway, because "Republicans are good for business" will be called upon to be the primary blood donors, if needed, and are also required to hire Katrina refugees and provide full benefits.

As for the fundies who "cherish life", as long as its unborn/brain dead and not if its gay/foreign/functionally alive, I don't know what to say. I don't understand them well enough to think of a proper punishment, and I can't pretend to. Any ideas?


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