Wednesday, September 07, 2005


Formal, conscientious, and proper,
The cheese curl lover is potent,
Mork and Mindy when an innocent
Afternoon snack let all hell break loose.
Ever wonder how smart you are?
Like so smart you can see through to
The other side of stupid?
Insanity is not an option when you
Can’t get cheese and onion flavored
Crisps anymore. It’s all Bavarian cheddar
And shallot, and experts say that the smell of
Dead cicadas is just about right when choosing
A Limburger. My mother says cocks smell like cheese
And that’s why she was a lesbian
For three weeks in 1974.

Despite Brett’s inquiries about what
Emma and Mary Percival had seen in the spacecraft
No bandage can cover my scars
It’s hard living a life behind bars.
Every bean, every
Bullet, every bare, dark shin and
Ornate walking cane is infinitely more expensive.
That’s what I hate about
This child-worship thing going on right now.
Remember a fella called Martin Luther? His
Skin was dry and scaly like a crocodile and
On his poultice someone had written
“VIVE LA PAIX for I am the Queen of the Succubi!”
But between the snake-handlers, thinly veiled atheists
And people who pray to fire hydrants
No one knows how they
Turned him into Martin Sheen.

He didn’t have a favorite girl band, but
Tristan’s a dirty boy when it comes to sand dunes.
We went and got some Wendy’s
Before the newspaper article came out
Linking us directly to the spread of AIDS in Oahu, then
We headed over to the Make Out Club in
Britt, Iowa, where our
English was fluent and eroticism a dark and shadowy thing.
Man, that boy has a lot of shit.
But while he may be goofy,
Nasty, and powerfully retarded, this Japanese
Film clip will explain it all.
His name was Jesus Christ
And he died a 33-year-old virgin.


Blogger Jerm Pollet said...

Hi Rachel! Nice poetry, babe! Here's a poem about praying to fire hydrants by my favorite artist, Daniel Johnston:

by Daniel Johnston

Me and a friend went out one night
Walkin' in the street.
We talked of God and the end of the world. I stuck my head in a fire hydrant.

The night was cool. It was around the time that the bad ladies come out
While river rats broke windows and performed un-natural acts.
We walked halfway across the town and sang in an amphitheatre,
Then we walked a little further and admired some graffiti.

Dodging cars as we crossed the highway
We sure must have looked ugly.
My shirt was soaked, the grass was wet,
I stuck head in a fire hydrant.

We talked of things in the Good Book
While there was a naked lady on TV.
She had no care, she had no shame.
she had little propellers on.

My friend he said "I cant help
But look at this naked lady's body"
I said "dear friend you got a dirty mind
Stick yr head in a fire hydrant."

Earlier that evening
I went to a banquet,
Hoping she might be there.
But she wasn't so I went to this other girl's house
Who was freaked out on drugs

So later after that
-After the first part of this song-
On my way home I drove past this other girl's house
Who would not accept my calls.

I noticed she had her light on
As I drove slowly by.
I wondered if she noticed me,
I stuck my head in a fire hydrant

3:24 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

yes, this poetry display is genius. but i do not think anything can compare to your burlesque performance. Only rachel can follow a "naughty nurse" and a "naughty cowgirl" by doing a scene from "The Crying Game."

6:01 PM  

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