Monday, August 15, 2005

NEW POEMS--

BECAUSE I'M TOO LAZY RIGHT NOW TO WRITE A REAL BLOG ENTRY! I MEAN, COME ON, THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, PEOPLE! THEY TAKE CONSIDERATION! CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, I DON'T JUST HAMMER ANY OLD SHIT OUT. I'M A BUSY PERSON! I HAVE SOMETHING WONDERFUL PLANNED FOR TOMORROW BUT I JUST CAN'T WRITE IT WRITE NOW BECAUSE I'M TIRED! I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT BLOWJOBS ALL DAY, EXCEPT FOR THE 26 MINUTES I SPENT CONSUMING THE $6.50 BENTO BOX SPECIAL AT SAPPORO EAST ON MANHATTAN EVENUE, WHEN I BRIEFLY, JOYFULLY, MANAGED TO THINK ABOUT SALMON! THINKING ABOUT BLOWJOBS IS MY PROFESSION! IT'S WHAT I WAS BORN FOR, AND I'M NOT COMPLAINING...BUT...STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! STOP IT! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, AND EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR BREASTS ARE FAKE! I'M TALKING TO YOU, DAVID! EVERYBODY KNOWS!



6.
I knew Crow on a first
Name basis, and she knew
Me as the guy with the Labrador
Until July 12, 1997
When he abducted nine
Forest rangers from the jungles of Southern India.
When I asked why, I was told
That at best they were unabashed perverts and lechers and
She wouldn’t stand
For them working at her company.
She didn’t mean it in the dirty sense
But Dr. Lee DeForest, inventor of the
Vacuum tube and father of television
Mentioned that we’re all sickos and psychopaths
And hiring naked women can’t solve the
Problem that there
Isn’t any mouse-flavored
Cat food. The perverts want the war to end;
But not the syphilitic perverts
That would so wantonly take her,
Just the Rump Rangers in
Germany, I fear.



7.
Angels were never meant
To feel pain, so an Angel
Can never cry. Instead,
I bleed when you cry
Whatever, I’m not all
Suicidal like when we first
Broke up, but I still sniff my
Fingers after I wipe my ass
Like you taught me
And last night I grunted and grunted
As a painful hard ball slipped
Out until I realized
It’s going to
Be fine once I
Get Ryan to beat
Your ass again and
Watch you bleed and cry
Like a bitch until you perish,
You turtle-y looking fuck.

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